Trail of Failures

I have been running anywhere from 5-7 miles three times a week now for the past few months.  All of this running has been done on a treadmill, so today I decide to change it up and head out to the trail that runs behind my company's campus and down to the island on the Potomac.  This is the start of the "Trail of Failures." 

I look at my $12.99 Target watch, note the time is 3:30 am (it was really 6:30 am, but I don't know how to set the watch), and I started out on my journey.  A few minutes into my run I notice one of the avid running scientists from work coming from a direction opposite of where I was heading.  "Weird", I thought to myself, and kept on my path-  Failure 1. 

I run around that pesky fence that said "No Trespassing" and continued across the old wobbly wooden bridge towards the island.  Failures 2 and 3. 

I ran across the gravel trail that lead to the other side.  When I reached the other side, I chose to go left instead of right because I thought the path looked more interesting.  Failure 4.  

About a mile into the left hand turn the "trail", which is at this point nothing more than tractor tracks, has run out and I am now attempting to run through grass that is up to my thighs.  I wonder at this point if my relatives in heaven have all pulled up cloud recliners and popcorn to enjoy the show in the field below.  Probably. 

I turn around, make it back to the path that lead me across the island and decide to turn back.  I run, run, run, and I am anxiously approaching the path back to campus.  And I keep running, and running and running looking for said path.  I think to myself "I do not remember this hill being so steep on the way down."  Failure 5. 

I keep running until I reach the top of the hill and realize that I am at Rt. 7.  I have completely overshot the turn.  (Insert many cuss words not appropriate for my mom and mother-in-law to read). Turn around, and jog back. 

Finally reach campus, and check my Target watch.  I have been running almost 50 minutes.  Good enough for today.  I head back to the locker room, check the clock and realize that I was actually out for 70 minutes.  My $12.99 investment has failed me- Failure 6. And I am now late for work.  Failure 7.  

Upon entering the locker room, I think to myself, "I can't wait to blog about this later."  Success 1.